I need an intervention!

Ok, I'm in! I fully expect, due to time contraints (lazy), my rock star social life(work), and other circumstances(wife), that I will be having to do "make-up" drinks at the end of each week. It is ok, however, for you all to do a reverse intervention to get me back on track. Instead of getting my mom, friends and cook psychologist together to make me stop drinking, please bring a beer bong, a stripper, definitely a monkey and a midget, and force me to drink. I know I can count on your support.